Failure is a humbling experience. It knocks the wind out of you, leaves you questioning your abilities, and sometimes, makes you wonder if you should have even tried in the first place. But failure is also an essential part of growth, a proving ground where resilience is forged and confidence is rebuilt—brick by brick, lesson by lesson. The path to success is rarely a straight line; more often, it’s a winding road filled with detours, obstacles, and a few spectacular crashes along the way.
Falling Flat: When Things Don’t Go as Planned
I know this feeling all too well. I’d dropped out of uni after a year, because I chose a degree based on poor motivators. I had stumbled into accountancy then consulting, did ok for a number of years, then Y2K hit, and the ERP consulting market took a nosedive, and I was again at a crossroads. I had built a successful career, despite the odds and bad decisions I had made early on in my adult life, and suddenly, the demand for my expertise dried up overnight. I could’ve taking it all as a hard blow to my confidence. Instead of staying stuck, I chose to not see it as an end, but as an invitation to reinvent myself. Retraining as a chef wasn’t just a career change—it was a deliberate act of resilience.
Even so, in those early days in professional kitchens, the self-doubt crept in. I remember my first real service at City Rhodes. I was moving too slowly, second-guessing every decision, and feeling like an imposter among chefs who had been doing this for years. By the end of service, I was exhausted, demoralized, and certain I had made a terrible mistake. What got me through wasn’t some grand epiphany—it was showing up the next day, determined to be just a little bit better than before. The more I repeated the process, the more I realized that failure wasn’t a sign of weakness; it was a stepping stone to mastery.
Still, life keeps throwing curve balls, and for every failure you’ve just recovered from, another is waiting around the corner. Finding happiness and contentment through all of this learning, is what I consider a true superpower.
The Missteps of Shutta: Learning the Hard Way
Failure doesn’t just happen on an individual level—it happens in business, too. At Shutta, we’ve had our fair share of wrong turns. One of the biggest missteps was when we spent far too long trying to push our original product, the social media app, despite the market telling us otherwise. We poured in time, resources, and sheer willpower, convinced we could make it work. But no matter how much effort we put in, the reality was that we were trying to swim against the tide.
The post-mortem on that failure was painful but necessary. We had to acknowledge that persisting with a failing product was not the same as resilience—it was just stubbornness. Instead of doubling down on what wasn’t working, we chose to pivot. Accepting failure allowed us to move forward, and over the next two years, we transformed from a struggling app company into a successful digital transformation firm. That shift wouldn’t have been possible if we had let failure paralyze us. Looking back, it wasn’t just abandoning a bad idea; it was embracing new opportunities and adapting to what the market truly needed.
Maxine’s Kitchen Lessons in Resilience
Then there’s Maxine, my young protégé at the Junior Chef’s College. Every week, she’s thrown into the deep end with new techniques and recipes. And every week, she makes mistakes. On Audition Day, she cut herself badly, but still didn’t give up. This week, a perfectly folded omelette disintegrated into unappetizing chunks when she turned it onto the plate. She gets frustrated—who wouldn’t? She is hard on herself and loses her temper, mainly at herself. But what’s impressive is how she picks herself up and tries again.
She’s beginning to understand that mistakes are not proof of incompetence—they’re opportunities to learn. Watching her work through these challenges reminds me that resilience is a skill cultivated through practice. With each mistake, she learns something new—not just about cooking, but about patience, perseverance, and the importance of self-belief.
How to Rebuild Confidence After Failure
Rebuilding confidence after failure isn’t about pretending the failure didn’t happen. It’s about acknowledging it, learning from it, and using it as fuel to move forward. Here’s how:
- Reframe the Narrative – Instead of seeing failure as a sign of incompetence, view it as proof that you’re pushing your limits. Recognize that growth requires vulnerability and that no one grows without stumbling along the way. The most successful people are often those who have failed the most—but learned from every experience.
- Extract the Lessons – Conduct your own post-mortem. What went wrong? What could you have done differently? Learning from failure prevents you from making the same mistake twice. Write down what you’ve learned and revisit it when facing similar challenges in the future.
- Take Small Wins – Confidence doesn’t return in one giant leap. Set small, achievable goals that help rebuild your sense of competence. Every little success compounds over time, and before you know it, you’ve regained your footing.
- Keep Showing Up – The simple act of continuing despite setbacks is what separates those who succeed from those who don’t. Keep going, even when you don’t feel ready. Progress isn’t always visible in the moment, but persistence pays off in the long run.
- Surround Yourself with Encouragement – Having people who remind you of your strengths and potential can make all the difference when your own confidence wavers. Seek out mentors, peers, and friends who will lift you up when you’re feeling low.
- Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection – Confidence isn’t built on perfection; it’s built on progress. Recognizing how far you’ve come, even if you’re not yet where you want to be, helps reinforce the belief that you are capable and resilient.
Turning Setbacks into Strengths
Failure is inevitable, staying down is a choice. Every setback is a chance to sharpen your skills and deepen your resilience. Confidence isn’t something that disappears with failure—quite the contrary! It’s something that gets rebuilt through persistence, reflection, and growth:
The Resilience Manifesto
- Persist despite setbacks
- Learn continuously
- Maintain a growth mindset
Resilience is like a muscle—the more you challenge it, the stronger it becomes. With each failure, you gain a deeper understanding of yourself, your strengths, and your ability to overcome obstacles. The real test isn’t whether you fail, but how you respond when you do. And if we can embrace failure as a necessary step toward growth, then every setback—no matter how painful—becomes a stepping stone to something greater.